Am I the only one? Has anyone else ever felt fear?
Not just any fear, but a seemingly never ending fear.
The kind of fear that, in the moment, feels like fear is the only thing you'll ever know.
Not just any fear, but a seemingly never ending fear.
The kind of fear that, in the moment, feels like fear is the only thing you'll ever know.
****
You thought you could outrun it, but you were wrong every time. It's now what controls you.
You almost respect it. You listen to it and obey it. It's your gauge that tells you what's impossible.
It holds you so tightly you can't even scream for help anymore.
It's like a bungee cord how it pulls you back and slaps you in the face every time you reach out for one of your dreams.
It says: Why did you even try? I've told you you're a loser.
It tells you: Hope’s a fake, but assures you that pain is real.
It has to have your attention; without your attention it will die.
That's why it's so demanding and why it screams so loudly.
It's behind your insecurity, it's the thing that asks you every night: Why God would love you?
It's the thing that tells you over and over again what you did wrong and why you can never change.
It tells you you'll trip if you take that first step.
I took that first step, I didn't trip, it was all a lie.
I stopped giving fear my attention. It has now died.
Am I the only one?
You thought you could outrun it, but you were wrong every time. It's now what controls you.
You almost respect it. You listen to it and obey it. It's your gauge that tells you what's impossible.
It holds you so tightly you can't even scream for help anymore.
It's like a bungee cord how it pulls you back and slaps you in the face every time you reach out for one of your dreams.
It says: Why did you even try? I've told you you're a loser.
It tells you: Hope’s a fake, but assures you that pain is real.
It has to have your attention; without your attention it will die.
That's why it's so demanding and why it screams so loudly.
It's behind your insecurity, it's the thing that asks you every night: Why God would love you?
It's the thing that tells you over and over again what you did wrong and why you can never change.
It tells you you'll trip if you take that first step.
I took that first step, I didn't trip, it was all a lie.
I stopped giving fear my attention. It has now died.
Am I the only one?
Very true. Great post, Johanna! It reminds me of a scene in the dramatized Pilgrim's Progress. The group with Christiana is traveling the path when they come to a steep cliff. The is no way around or across the canyon. They puzzle over what to do until one of them realizes it is just an illusion. He takes the first step and shows them all that it is just a painting on solid ground, placed there to frighten them and keep them from going forward. They all follow in faith and proceed safely on. Many of our fears are so unfounded. Like what Mark Twain said, "I've experienced many great difficulties in my life, some of which actually happened." ;)
ReplyDeleteOkay. WOW that is amazing, Miss Abby! I just read your comment like 5 times and each time I was saying to myself "That is so true. Wow this is amazing to think about." Thank you so much for inspiring me and giving me some really great thoughts. Keep doing what you do to be such a Bright and shining light for Jesus. You are simply amazing!
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